I Found Her!

12:15 am

Haha hello!

I still can’t believe it, but this is what happened.

It was a Wednesday afternoon, and I was having coffee by myself in the shopping centre, not far from the bookshop. I’ve been hanging around there almost every day for a week now, making excuses to myself about how good the coffee is.

At first I thought it was just another false alarm, there have been so many I’d become less and less excited each time. She was pushing a trolley full of grocery filled plastic bags toward the car park entrance. I probably would have missed her if she hadn’t stopped to answer her phone. It was Monica.

She almost looked directly at me. I didn’t move for a few seconds, it was such a shock, seeing her appear like that. My mind was racing, but she was almost through the door, she had started walking again. I did the only thing I could think of, and I’m glad I did. I followed her, I ran.

I kept out of sight through the car park, keeping a reasonable distance when I realised; when she reached her car, I was going to lose her. My own car was at least a minute’s walk from her, on the other side and a floor down. I panicked, then moved toward the steps leading to the lower floor, the whole time keeping her in my sight. If I could see where her car was I may be able to quickly race down to my own and bring it up so I could follow her out. She should take enough time loading those groceries.

I had to move away from the stairs to keep sight of her, but she eventually reached her car. I waited to make sure it was the right one, a white station wagon, then sprinted back to the stairs into the lower level. I really need to work on my fitness. I reached my car in under a minute, out of breath, I quickly moved toward the car park ramp leading to the upper floor. But that’s not where I ended up, I thought I knew this car park well enough, but in my rush I had taken the wrong ramp. I was on Green Level, I needed Blue, the one below. I may have driven a little too fast at this point, screeching through a turn and narrowly missing a bunch of adolescents – who swore at me. By the time I made it to Blue Level she was gone. That woman sure can pack groceries. I felt sick.

I made my way to the exit, I was honking my horn at the cars waiting in line to move through the ticket barriers when I realised what I was looking at. I had been so fixated on the cars a few ahead that I had completely ignored the white station wagon sitting directly in front of me. I couldn’t believe my luck. I shrunk in my seat, hoping she wouldn’t turn around and see me, if she hadn’t already. I shouldn’t have used the horn.

The rest of the trip was much easier, though my adrenaline was still high. I managed to stay a car or two behind her for the entire time which, to my surprise and relief, must have lasted only around 5 minutes, though it seemed like much longer. It felt a bit like a movie, where I was a detective, more excitement than I’d had in a long time. The best moment was when she pulled up at her house, I took a hard look at it before moving further up and parking in a side street. She lived so close to me! This whole time she was at most about 20 minutes drive from my house. I had already figured they lived on the North Shore when I saw them in the local shopping centre.

It was a pretty, little street, close enough to some ‘main’ roads but still quite secluded. Most houses were double storey and the entire place was covered in trees. The sort of suburb who’s warm and welcoming exterior belies the tired and selfish personal lives of those hidden behind the vine covered walls.

When I was satisfied that enough time had passed for Monica to have gone inside I moved the car around to sit outside the house, on the opposite side of the street. I put the car into park, pulled on the hand brake and turned off the engine.. and suddenly felt very static. I sat low in the car, and just stared at the house. It was after school hours, she was probably inside. I must have been about 50 metres away from her, and she didn’t even know I was here. Waves of excitement washed over me and I just sat there, letting them come, not needing to do anything. For the first time in over a week, I felt no shame in being perfectly, still.

I took down the address, though there was no way I’m going to forget this place. I felt such an overwhelming sense of achievement, I’m still trying to prove to myself that I had actually made it, that it wasn’t just an ambitious dream. Writing it down helps.

Then I saw her.

It was just for the tiniest, most delicate moment, she flashed into view through the front window and was gone again. But it was enough. Everything I felt the first time I saw her came flooding back. I had forgotten the unfamiliar power of her presence, which I could feel even from this distance. She had been my best friend for those 10 minutes over a week ago but I felt now like I had known her my whole life. I remembered how she had restored my faith in people, and I cursed myself for not being able to hold on to that feeling for longer. It was over an hour before I left.

This is the second time she has revived me. I know I will go back as soon as I can. I haven’t been able to go to sleep tonight either, but now I don’t mind. Now there is hope.

Parr

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